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Simon Spotlight Entertainment is pleased to announce
the October 2009 release of
Cowboy & Wills: A Love Story By Monica Holloway
Cowboy & Wills: A Love Story (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, October 2009, $24), the second memoir by Monica Holloway, whose first release, Driving With Dead People, was hailed as “a classic” by Glamour and described as possessed with an “irresistible narrative style” by the Washington Post. Holloway’s new memoir shares profoundly powerful and poignant stories with unfettered candor, balanced by an uplifting wit that provided needed relief from the seemingly insurmountable difficulties she overcomes time and again. To call Holloway an inspiration would be an understatement.
Cowboy & Wills opens the day after Holloway’s adorable three year-old son Wills is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She takes him to a pet store; and from her first impulse purchase of a full aquarium, Holloway quickly graduates to hermit crabs, hamsters, African dwarf frogs, and a rabbit. But like all children, what Wills wants most was a puppy. That Christmas, eight-week old Cowboy arrives and forever changes their lives.
Holloway sat down for a discussion of her life’s path as a mother and memoirist, and the unexpected trajectory this path has taken through her life.
Photo Courtesy of Alex Asher-Sears
Cowboy & Wills is your second memoir. Your first, Driving with Dead People, was published just two years ago, and while the books have very different stories, they both share your “irresistible narrative style” (to quote the Washington Post), as well as your incredible ability to tell profoundly difficult stories with honesty and humor. Where does your desire to share these parts of your life come from and how do find the courage to face the blank page (or computer screen as it were) and examine your life so openly?
Monica Holloway: I’ve always been very expressive—perhaps too expressive—and I have this wonderful friend, Beth Schachter, who was constantly telling me to put my stories down on paper. I refused to do it. I was an actress at the time and Beth was a director.
One Sunday, when we were both out of work, Beth suggested that I write down a few stories and that the two of us could develop them into a one-woman show—she could direct and I could perform. But I was procrastinating writing the stories. So Beth bought a cheap tape recorder at Radio Shack. She sat me down in our tiny five-floor walkup that we shared in New York, and I told her some stories. She recorded what I said and I transcribed it onto paper. Beth edited them and added the transitions. Eventually, we came up with a one-woman show entitled, “Spontaneous Vertigo” that we did in New York. That was the first thing I “wrote” and after that, expressing myself on paper became more natural for me.
Writing a memoir is such an intimate form of communication. What motivated you to tell your story? Do you ever feel that you are revealing too much of yourself, or exposing your family, through your writing?
I heard Joan Didion speak two years ago, and she said (and I’m paraphrasing) that when you write nonfiction, you always “sell someone out.” And when I heard that, I thought it was such a negative way to look at writing memoir, but since then, I’ve come to realize that she was probably right. I can tell my story, but someone will inevitably be caught in the crosshairs—intentional or not. I can change a name or move something to a new setting, but someone will still feel the prick. On the other hand, Anne Lamott says in Bird by Bird that if someone wanted a better story, they “should have treated you better.” This was much more true for my first book.
Cowboy & Wills book was such a relief and a joy to write because Wills is the absolute love of my life and to tell the world how brave he is and how important it is to recognize the power of healing through animals was an incredible honor.
Autism is both a fascinating and frightening condition that, in my mind, calls into question our assumptions about people as individuals as well as part of a group. I would love if you could provide a working definition of autism, or some way in which to explain the way Wills functions that is distinct from our experience.
I’ve heard this countless times but it bears repeating: If you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. Autistic people are as diverse and complicated and wonderfully individualistic as someone who is not on the spectrum. Some characteristics can be shared, and are, unfortunately, often exaggerated by actors playing autistic people in movies or on television. This only adds to the stigma. It is difficult for the general public to separate one fictional character from all people who are diagnosed with autism. And yet autism is a “spectrum” disorder, so there is a huge range in terms of where a person falls on that spectrum. You have probably met many people who are on the spectrum who do not show obvious signs of autism; you don’t even know they have it. In others, it can be much more pronounced.
If you were to meet Wills today, it would be my bet that you would not automatically assume he was autistic. He’s that high functioning. Neurologically, he was able to improve and for that, we are extremely grateful.
Cowboy & Wills opens with you going to purchase a full aquarium after you learn of his diagnosis, and spending a week in solitude with your son and the fish, finding solace in the simplicity of life without the busy-ness of everyday life. How did the acquisition of and caring for animals help you cope with the fear, stress, and insecurities of adapting to a new understanding of Wills’ life?
Animals bring life to a home, and they don’t require explanations when you’re sad or worried or angry. They sit there, waiting for a treat or someone to toss the ball to them or a good scruff around the neck. Acquiring animals was a natural reaction to not wanting to be alone with the diagnosis—my husband was in Chicago working at the time of the diagnosis and I was very overwhelmed and felt quite alone. At night, there was the hum of the aquarium, the hamster turning in his wheel and later, of course, Cowboy padding around the house making us laugh and handing out licks and fuzzy support. Even when my husband returned from Chicago, the animals just kept coming.
Raising a child is always difficult, made only more complex in your case with an autism diagnosis. Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently?
I wish I could have relaxed more. Not knowing what the future holds for a child is difficult for any parent, but when there’s a diagnosis involved, it spins you off in all kinds of bad scenarios. Some days are better than others. But over all, if I’d known he’d improve this much, and lead such a happy life, I might have cleaned the house less obsessively and spent that time focused on the moment at hand —on the present.
Having said that, Wills is going into middle school in a few weeks, and I found myself scrubbing the bathtub with renewed intensity the other day while recalling how difficult junior high was for me—for most of us. So I still worry about him, but now Wills reminds me, “Mom, don’t be so overprotective!” And it makes me laugh. He can handle it himself.
How did your childhood, as described in your first book, influence how you see yourself as a parent? What sort of perspective did it offer you? Was there anything that you felt you were missing, or were unprepared for?
I, in no way, wanted to emulate my own parents, and so that left me with precious little to go on in terms of role models. I read tons of books and felt quite alone, actually. Ultimately, I think I was too overprotective of Wills because I did not want to be neglectful. I was unclear about the boundaries—what was helpful and loving to Wills, and what might have been suffocating to him.
After searching high and low for a puppy for Christmas, you threw caution to the wind and went to the Pet Chalet in Beverly Hills, reasoning they’d never stoop so low as to deal with puppy mills. And yet, where there is money to be made, anything is possible. I realize Cowboy & Wills is in no way a story of animal rights, but I was struck by the fact that it makes a pretty strong case without trying.
The Los Angeles Times published this article by Lindsay Barnett regarding the store, which was called both Jack’s Pet Chalet and Pets of Bel Air:
A default judgment in a lawsuit filed in 2007 against the now-defunct L.A. pet store Pets of Bel Air will award $4.8 million to customers who bought puppies there. The judgment by Superior Court Judge John P. Shook came about eight months after the attorney representing Pets of Bel Air left the case; in the time since the attorney's departure, defendants have failed to respond to court motions.
The lawsuit was filed by attorney Wayne S. Kreger, who purchased a Chihuahua puppy at the store in 2007. Within 12 days, the puppy had died of parvovirus. Later, the suit was amended to include additional plaintiffs who also said they had also purchased sick animals at the store. About the time the plaintiffs moved to classify the suit as class-action, the store quietly removed wording on its website stating that its puppies were not obtained from puppy mills, according to court papers. In October, Shook approved the suit's class-action status.
"We are pleased that the court has held the defendants accountable for their fraudulent advertising and unlawful business practices," Peter J. Farnese, the plaintiffs' attorney, told NBC Los Angeles after Shook's default judgement was announced. "We hope this case has helped to expose the practices of their industry, and that this judgment will protect other consumers and serve as a deterrent to other pet stores in California and elsewhere who obtain puppies from puppy mills."
In December 2007, the Humane Society of the United States disclosed the findings of an undercover investigation it conducted on the store's business practices. Despite the store's claim that its puppies were all obtained from private breeders, the investigation revealed otherwise, demonstrating that many had came from puppy mills. Further, some of the suppliers of Pets of Bel Air's puppies had been cited for their failure to comply with animal welfare regulations, including, in one case, a faulty waste-management system that allowed "the waste to flow out onto the ground and on other animals," the Humane Society said.
Shortly after a press conference in which the Humane Society made its case against Pets of Bel Air, the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services shut down the store for selling puppies without the proper permit and for failing to provide veterinary records to the department. But the store's owner, Tom Demick, told our colleague Carla Hall that he had simply forgotten to pay for the permit and would rectify the situation immediately. As for a video the Humane Society provided as evidence of the store's wrongdoing, Demick called it "twisted" and insisted that the group had "cut that segment short.
According to NBC Los Angeles, Judge Shook will decide later this month how best to notify some 800 other Pets of Bel Air customers (which reportedly have included celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears) of the judgment.
At least one good thing has come from the pet store's closure: a new pet store, called Woof Worx, opened in its place. Woof Worx, which is owned by a former Pets of Bel Air employee, deals only in needy animals obtained from L.A.-area animal shelters and rescue groups.
The following is a link to a local paper called The Canyon News. It’s an article citing the lawsuit brought against the store for selling puppy mill puppies. The store has since closed.
The court case involving Pets of Bel Air, a pet store that had been formerly patronized by celebrities in the Bel Air location on 2924 Beverly Glen Circle is now coming to a close, according to attorney Wayne S. Kreger, of the Millstein, Adelman, and Kreger LLP Injury Law Group in Santa Monica. The lawsuit judgment, which began in December of 2007, found that the store was illegally selling its animals from puppy mills. http://www.canyon-news.com/artman2/publish/belair...
We were not involved in this suit, which I now regret. We were despondent over losing Cowboy, and Wills was so devastated that we concentrated on taking care of him. A lawsuit at the time seemed almost too enormous to deal with, but we should have been front and center. Now the task at hand is going after puppy mills. Wills and I are very dedicated to that. Wills wrote a letter to Barack Obama last spring asking him to, “Please stop the puppy mills. Animals are being hurt and malnourished. Please stop this from happening.”
Author Temple Grandin discusses the innate and intuitive relationship that exists between people with autism and animals, describing autism as “a kind of way station on the road from animals to humans.” In many ways, Cowboy was a guide dog down that road, bringing Wills out of isolation and in contact with the world. It’s almost magical to consider the bridge that exists between the two of them.
At the time, I hadn’t read much about dogs helping children with autism, so it was blind luck that we chose a puppy and not a kitten or, God forbid with my small yard, a pony. I was thinking, “warm and loving dog to bring Wills comfort” but what happened as a result of their relationship was nothing short of a miracle—which is exactly what dogs do—perform miracles. (Other animals, too, of course, but I’m Cowboy-biased.)
Cowboy teaches Wills so many things, and introduces him to a much wider world while giving him the confidence to venture out in that world. What did Cowboy teach you? What life lesson from your puppy do you hold most dear?
Cowboy never whimpered or showed her discomfort in any way. Given how sick she became, I could only admire her determination to keep up with Wills as he ran through the yard or seeing her wagging her scraggily tail while she stood by the garage door hoping to go for a ride with us. (Of course, we always took her.) She was in pain, but being with us meant more to her than lying still or sleeping. She taught me to get up off my butt even when I didn’t want to. Her loyalty and fierce love for all of us was an honor to behold. It was so pure and came so naturally for her. What a gem!
Needless to say, I, and every reader of the book, want to know: how is Wills doing? What is he up to? How does he feel about the book? And did you get any news pets....
Wills is twelve now. He’s brilliant and funny and open. Socially, he’s come such a long way. He would never need a puppy or a mommy to stand in front of him now. He handles social situations all by himself and with aplomb. That isn’t to say that he still doesn’t work on his social skills, but it comes much more naturally now and remains, of course, completely “Wills,” his own unique person.
He’s extremely thoughtful; bringing home gifts from a school field trip for me or his Dad or picking flowers on a hike to bring home for his Aunt JoAnn. Most importantly, he tells us every single day, “I love you.” Are we lucky or what?
Wills and Buddy, our new dog, go everywhere together. Buddy is two-and-a-half years old now, and healthy as a horse. She weighs a whopping ninety-eight pounds and is so sweet and gorgeous.
Wills’s heart will always be a little broken over the loss of Cowboy and I don’t think that’s something that will ever truly go away. As I wrote in the book, Cowboy was his “first love and his first love lost.” You never outgrow feelings for the “firsts” in your life. When Cowboy comes up, Wills still gets quite emotional.
I thought maybe I was past the “animal addiction” phase of my life, but apparently not. This summer, I was dealing with a difficult personal loss and adopted two beautiful white rabbits from LA’s The Bunny Foundation. A boy bunny, whom Wills named Neige (French for snow), and a girl named “Liza Minelli in Rabbit Form” because of her gorgeous black eyes and long eyelashes. The bunnies are domesticated and very friendly. Liza will let Buddy lick her fur until she’s soaking wet but Neige prefers to bathe himself.
Three days ago, August 16, 2009, we bought another golden retriever puppy from Buddy’s breeder, Artistry Golden Retrievers in Simi Valley. Wills named him Leo Henry, and he’s only eight weeks old. He’s SO cute, and Wills is having a blast. Now he has two dogs sleeping in his bed.
Buddy is very gentle with Leo and the two of them have been happily playing in the sand under Wills’ fort. Wills strolls Leo around in an orange and grey puppy stroller while Buddy trots along beside them. The biggest activity this summer, of course, has been swimming in our pool—lots of kids, lots of dog hair and happy parents.
We also have one hamster, three hermit crabs and two fire-bellied frogs among others.
So no, I wouldn’t say that my animal addiction is under control. But we have a pretty happy, if not hairy, house.
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About the book:
The day after Monica Holloway’s adorable three year-old son Wills is diagnosed with Austism Spectrum Disorder, she takes him to a pet store. From her first impulse purchase of a full aquarium, Holloway quickly graduates to hermit crabs, hamsters, African dwarf frogs, and a rabbit. But like all children, what Wills wants most was a puppy. That Christmas, eight-week old Cowboy arrives and forever changes their lives.
A blond, brown-eyed golden retriever, Cowboy is more than a house pet; she is the bridge between Wills and the rest of the world. Cowboy’s very presence in his life empowered Wills to take risks, to engage and socialize, to establish meaningful and intimate connections with the world around him. Detailing their devotion to each other, Cowboy & Wills (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, October 2009, $24) is a love story like no other.
Like peanut butter and jelly, Cowboy and Wills are the perfect pair. Where Wills is cautious, fastidious, and tender hearted, Cowboy is rambunctious, affectionate, and impulsive. Soon, the boy who could barely say hello to his kindergarten classmates is going on playdates, learning to swim, and sleeping in his own bed. Through it all, Cowboy is there, dragging him toward other children and giving him the confidence to face his fears—with her by his side.
But love is not enough to save the beautiful Cowboy from her fate, and the cruel world of puppy mills quickly catches up to them. When Cowboy is diagnosed with lupus, Wills and his family realize that they must be there for her, just as she was there for them.
Cowboy & Wills reveals the mysterious manifestation and inexplicable power of love, loss, and salvation. Weaving a mesmerizing tale of hope and despair, anxiety and assurance, trust and doubt, Holloway’s matchless talent for crafting stories infinite joy and pain makes her one of the foremost memoirists of our age.
Praise for Cowboy & Wills
“A boy and his dog—that is sacred stuff. Layer on to that autism and the singular love of a mother and you've got the makings for deeply worthwhile reading. Monica Holloway is any one of us, doubled-over with hope and pain and wishing.”
— Kelly Corrigan
New York Times bestselling author of The Middle Place
“A young boy with autism is able to make friends with the aid of his pet dog named Cowboy. Pets can help open up social doors.”
—Temple Grandin
New York Times bestselling author of Animals in Translation and Animals Make us Human
“Monica Holloway’s, Cowboy & Wills is a refreshing look at high functioning autism. Her writing is personal, insightful, informative, and helpful. I highly recommend this book to families with autism, as well as to others who wish to gain a better understanding of the challenges and victories these families face.”
—Elaine Hall
CoachE! in Autism: The Musical and author of Now I See the Moon
Author bio:
Monica Holloway is the critically acclaimed author of Driving With Dead People, described by Newsweek called “unforgettable,” Glamour christened “a classic,” and the Washington Post deemed “irresistible.” A contributor to the anthologies Mommy Wars and the Bigger the Better the Tighter the Sweater, Holloway lives with her family in Los Angeles.
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